Understanding Boundaries

Setting personal boundaries can be difficult for many reasons. You might have been positively reinforced to always put someone else’s needs before your own. Perhaps you dislike displeasing others. Maybe you worry if you stand up for yourself, you will be rejected and abandoned. Perhaps you previously were met with difficult reactions when you did stand your ground. Perhaps you were taught that you need to earn love and approval. This is a sample of the many many reasons why communicating boundaries can be challenging.

When we say “yes” to something, we may also be saying “no” to something else. For example, by saying “YES” to doing extra hours at work; you might also be saying “NO” to getting a couple of extra hours of sleep, a proper meal, an opportunity to exercise, a chance to catch up on housework, to relax.

Just because you can, does not necessarily mean that you should or have to.

It is ok to say yes to you. It is ok to ask yourself, “What do I want?”. You too are deserving of having your needs met.

The next time you find yourself being pulled towards neglecting your own needs, ask yourself if I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?

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