Often, we believe that if we THINK “I’m confident”, “I’m good enough”, “I got this” – then we will FEEL this way. However, thinking and feeling are two different entities, almost like two different languages. To understand your feelings, you need to feel these (hence why they are called “feelings”).
🔸️We can do this by opening up to them, acknowledging the feeling, listening to what they might be communicating to us, notice where we feel them, breathe into them, send comfort/love to them instead of avoiding, running away, shaming or denying what we are actually feeling.
🔸️This is often easier said than done, especially with uncomfortable emotions – trust me, I know.
🔸️Think about it, if a child was feeling anxious and we tell them ” You are fine”, “You have nothing to worry about” or “You shouldn’t feel like this”, do you think this would calm and reassure the child? Probably not.
🔸️This is the same for ourselves when we try to out think our feelings. It may temporarily shift some emotion but feelings of anxiousness will likely still simmer under the surface. It also sends a confusing message to our nervous system – denying what we are feeling and perhaps having difficulty with trusting our emotions.
🔸️It would be great if we could counteract a difficult emotion with a pleasant thought.
🔸️However, our feelings do not work this way. We feel our feelings, not think them.